When was the last time you looked at your plate of life that you have filled and reevaluated what you are holding? That was me this morning. Unintentionally, but that was where a few hours of my life was spent this morning.
As I looked at my calendar and began filling in each day with more and more stuff, I began to feel myself holding my breath and my head beginning to feel like it was going to explode. I quickly picked up my unfinished calendar and found my husband organizing Jonathan’s clothing in our bedroom (a baby seriously grows out of clothing far too quickly). I laid myself and the journal on our bed and looked up at him. The greatest thing about being married for 2 years now is the look I gave said it all.
“You look bothered, what are you thinking about?” He began.
“I’m overwhelmed.” I said. He was taking my bait. Then he said a statement that I promise if every married couple (both sides, ladies and gentleman) got this they would see lots of arguments decrease. He paused then said, “Okay, do you need me to listen to you right now or help you feel less overwhelmed?”
“What do you think?” I said without even wasting another second. Then he had me evaluate my schedule. I began making a list and then categorizing that list. What was I doing because I was passionate about it; What was I doing that was causing a source of irritation; What things were on my plate that were more harm than good; what things on my plate were bringing in a source of income; what things were causing income to go out of our pockets; and the last one, which ones did I have to keep on my plate, but maybe he could help take some of the load off with.
Ladies, any time you feel like supermom and your power is starting to fall away, this conversation (if you spouse is open to it) is probably one of the best ones to get you back on track.
Luckily as well, my husband and I have been listening to an podcast by Myles Munroe this week called “The Power of Purpose, The Power of Vision”. Another recommended listen, if you have not heard it yet. With this talk we have come to understand that the most difficult thing in life for people is to decide what to decide. I have said this before in different words, but I will say it again, you are the sum total of all of the decisions you have made in your life up to this point. Myles covers that piece fabulously in his talk, but then he takes it to the next level; If you have a purpose or a vision for your life, then the choices are simple to make. Because if something does not line up with your vision or purpose for life, then you’re going to say no to it. There are a lot of “good” things you can fill your time with, but if you say yes to many things you will become a jack of all trades (and master at none).
That’s how I began feeling. I was overwhelmed because each decision I made was not based on the direction I wanted to go in life, but it was money driven. What can I do right now to get us more money? I’ll tell ya what, you can only fill your time with things like that for so long, before you began to feel all your energy leave you on a daily basis. Being that my personality is one of a perfectionist, you can’t do anything to the fullest of your ability if you don’t have time to prepare, practice and plan. This is what was happening, my life plate was so full that I was forgetting things that were so simple daily and messing up on tiny tasks at my office job because my mind was being pulled in a hundred different directions.
As we wrote the list, highlighted the things that energized me and crossed off the ones that drained me, I began to see light at the end of the tunnel. Then my husband pipes up and says “I have seen this coming for a while now.” My first response in my head was, “WHY HAVEN’T YOU SAID ANYTHING THAN?!” but after another thought, I realized, I probably needed to come to this understanding on my own first and he was waiting for me to give the go to work this out.
By the end of many questions we had a simple list of priorities in my life: Faith, Family, Work, and the two things I’m passionate about; helping others change their life and leave a different legacy then the one they have been pursuing, and dance. After seeing my priorities and things I loved in life, the list of good things on my plate, became simple to remove. If it could not go under faith, family, work or passions then it was crossed off and a plan was set in place to remove it. Many of the things being removed also involved income coming in which was a nerve-racking one for me. However, I was encouraged this week by Myles Munroe (this is seriously my third time this week listening to this message, and I know it will continue to stay on repeat for a while). He is that “there is money attached to your assignment but it can’t find your assignment.” Another way he said it was “Stop asking God to bless you financially when he doesn’t know what he would be blessing.” His dialogue with God’s voice got me big time this week.
You: God give us more money.
God: For what?
You: God bless our business
God: Why? What’s your plan with it?
See its so simple, that I even missed it. Here I was trying to do everything to make more money saying “God I don’t want this year to be another 25,000 dollar year of income, please change our circumstance.” when I should become a business partner with him and say “God we need x-amount this year SO THAT, we can do this, this and this.” Make sense?
It would be like you going to a bank and saying “I want a 50,000 dollar loan I would like to take out.” They are going to look at you funny and say something like “Well do you want it for a vehicle? A home? A new business? What would you like to do with that wad of cash?” If you’re response was “I don’t know I just want more money this year.” I’m pretty sure they would decline you in a heart beat.
So this year, 2014, that is exactly what I am going to do. I am going to press in, talk to the Holy Spirit and sow this in me so deep that I will be able to say “God, here’s what we want to do.” or “By 2020, Dad this is where I see us and our family. Help us financially. I know that means I still need to put in some work to get there, but bless our work as we go.” I hope you do the same with me.
Ashley Wheeler 